Tonight I am sitting here in Lyle's apartment listening to the AC as it blows trying to keep us cool in this Galveston heat. He's been in bed for a couple of hours and I am out on the couch wondering what comes next in this journey. For most of my friends there is the career, the marriage and for some the children. I feel so lost. I just finished my internship and now it is time for my big girl job. I look at my boyfriend and he knows where he is headed and what he wants to do when he gets there. He knows he wants to be a doctor and he knows exactly what kind, with what specialization.
What is a big girl job? one that pays the bills, gives benefits, and allows you some pride when you tell people who are and what you do. Well at least that is what I think of when I think about the job that I hope to obtain in the very near future.
It will happen! I know it will. Well as far as other areas of my life.... haha!
Lyle and I are amazing. We are about to be at 8 months! That seems crazy to me. Just tonight we talked about how much stronger you get each passing day. This last week we have had some sweet time together. Nothing out the world special just sitting and enjoying having the other one in the room. My favorite times are when you are sitting there reading and you look up and he is staring at you in that cute adoring way or when I get horribly embarrassed because he has caught me looking at him yet again! haha! I can't help it I feel incredibly blessed. I have the love of a man who woos me daily and thinks that I am beautiful. What the heck? when did this happen?
Last night we were sitting on the couch and he was explaining something to me that was completely over my head but I listened because that is what supportive girlfriends do! Well he went back to silently reading and I just stared thinking when did this happen. When did I fall so in love with this man and when did i give him my heart? My friend told me not to give my heart and I wanted to laugh because well it has been spoken for for awhile. When he smiles he knows he holds my heart.
I am learning that I am ok and that I don't have to run. As many of you know that has been a pretty ritual thing for me and this time I am steady and I am staying. I am not afraid of change or growth. God has promised Good and I know that he will not give me more than I can handle.
